It’s critical in the work of helping others to understand the underlying circumstantial factors and limitations of behavior. In my case, I am a single mother with three children in college, working for financial compensation part time and going to graduate school also part time. The related stress of single parenting during the high school years and consequent increase in cortisol, functioning to increase glucose availability and prepare the body to face perceived challenges, could be damaging to brain health (Hibel, L. C., Mercado, E., & Trumbell, J. M., 2012). But most would say my load has lessened since all three children are in school and in some ways it has. Yet, my children, ages 19, 19, and 21, are actually just older adolescents (Johnson, S. B., Blum, R. W., & Giedd, J. N., 2009) who need support, attention, visits, and real time, in-person love—not social media, texting, or even phone call love. We are just beginning to measure the time intensive emotional work of mothers (O'brien, M., 2005). In the context of brain health, if not in many other areas, this work of love is time well spent as it may mitigate the increase of stress-related cortisol (The Brain on Love, n.d., Love, Sex, Relationships and the Brain, n.d.). Yet, it’s a trade-off. And in my case, the trade-off is sleep.
The divorce rate in the United States hovers around 50%. Living alone, taking care of house, work, pets, bills, and maintaining friendships, and maybe beginning a new relationship takes far more time than when coupled in marriage or partnership. One person shoulders the fiscal, emotional, social, logistical, and maintenance responsibilities. Additionally, many women feel it is essential to reinvest their energies into a new career or additional education in order to have long term financial stability if, as I was, they mostly stayed at home to raise the children and not invest in career during the marriage. Jayita and Murali Poduval write that, “financial implications of living on a single income and economic aspirations compel a majority of women to get back to work” (Poduval, J., & Poduval, M., 2009). This takes a lot of time. Again, it’s a trade-off. And again, it’s sleep.
References
Hibel, L. C., Mercado, E., & Trumbell, J. M. (2012). Parenting stressors and morning cortisol in a sample of working mothers. Journal of Family Psychology, 26(5), 738-746.
Johnson, S. B., Blum, R. W., & Giedd, J. N. (2009). Adolescent Maturity and the Brain: The Promise and Pitfalls of Neuroscience Research in Adolescent Health Policy. Journal of Adolescent Health, 45(3), 216-221.
Love, Sex, Relationships and the Brain. (n.d.). Retrieved March 12, 2016, from https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-mindful-self-express/201210/love-sex-relationships-and-the-brain
O'brien, M. (2005). Mothers as educational workers: Mothers’ emotional work at their children's transfer to second-level education. Irish Educational Studies, 24(2-3), 223-242.
Poduval, J., & Poduval, M. (2009). Working Mothers: How Much Working, How Much Mothers, And Where Is The Womanhood? Mens Sana Monogr Mens Sana Monographs, 7(1), 63.